The Secret History

TW: Racism, Homophobia, Substance abuse, death.

"Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones I did not."

It's been almost 10 days since I've completed this book and my mind is still a jumbled mess. It's been a wild ride. Before starting the book, I had an image of what and how this book is going to be. It was a murder mystery with a bunch of Greek literature nerds, so I knew what to expect up to an extent. What I got after reading was a completely different perspective and an intense urge to learn ancient languages, be pretentious and probably commit a crime. You know, everyone's usual 2 A.M thoughts. In hindsight, even thinking of this book as a murder mystery with a bunch of Greek literature nerds sounds so reductive and preposterous. I apologise for it.

Narrated from the perspective of Richard Papen, one of the protagonists, the story follows the lives of five students he meets at Hampden University and how in a way, along with an enigmatic professor, they influenced and changed the course of his life. It's predominantly a murder mystery, but it is so much more than that. It's about the consequences suffered because of a crime committed. How it influences one's decisions and life.

There are some parts that I disliked in this book. There are a lot of times when I felt that there was no logic or reasoning behind the characters' actions. I mean, I see the appeal of doing things without thinking it through and being uninhibited. But it doesn't dissuade the fact that those actions were pretty stupid. This bothered me in the beginning but as the story moved forward, I stopped questioning for my sake and went along the ride. I can understand why this book is called a Modern classic. I truly felt like I was reading a Classic Drama piece. I wouldn't look for pragmatism in some characters of a classic novel because their actions are overridden and backed by heightened emotions. At least that's the reasoning I gave for the characters' actions in this book.

Often dubbed as a staple for Dark academian books, I can finally understand why it is said so. Murder mystery; morally grey characters and their drive for knowledge; ancient languages; Dyonisian rituals; Mythology as well as philosophical influences, this book is an absolute treat. Donna Tartt's ability to create and maintain an air of mystery all through the book even though, the main event of death happens in the opening lines of the book is outstanding.

The characters of this book are some of the most unlikeable ones I have ever read. All of them are complex and wonderfully written. The author's brilliant way of storytelling kept me hooked on the narration and made me root for these characters many times. Henry is by far one of my favourite characters because of his complex characterisation. I could never guess what his next step would be and that made this story, more gripping and him, more alluring. This post wouldn't be complete if I didn't talk about the ending. I could've never sensed the plot twist coming even if it slapped me in the face. It was so shocking and heart-wrenching.

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"We don't like to admit it, but the idea of losing control is one that fascinates controlled people such as ourselves more than almost anything. All truly civilized people – the ancients no less than us – have civilized themselves through the wilful repression of the old, animal self."

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Donna Tartt's writing needs a different post altogether because I will never shut up about how beautiful her penmanship is. It's a visual treat. I read many lines again and again because a) the beauty of those lines needed that another glance and b) I was too stupid to understand some references the first time. If my love for this book is divided into two parts, 70% of it would go to her writing and 30% of it to the plot, characters and other aspects of this book.